Wedding Vows FAQ: The Most Common Questions Brides and Grooms Ask Us
- jmajors
- Aug 4
- 3 min read
Writing your wedding vows can feel like one of the most emotional and intimidating parts of planning your ceremony. Whether you're writing your own or choosing from traditional templates, the goal is always the same: to speak from the heart.
At J. Major’s Bridal Boutique, we work closely with couples across the country during such an intimate part of the wedding planning process, and one question always comes up: “What should I say in my wedding vows?”
Below, we’re sharing the most frequently asked questions couples ask us about writing, choosing, and delivering their wedding vows with answers that blend tradition, modern style, and heartfelt guidance.
What are wedding vows, exactly?
Wedding vows are personal or traditional promises made between two people during the wedding ceremony. They often reflect your commitment, love, values, and shared future. Whether religious or secular, classic or creative, your vows are often the emotional core of your wedding day.
Should we write our own wedding vows?
Many modern couples do but it’s not required. Writing your own vows allows for a deeply personal moment that reflects your unique relationship. However, some couples opt for traditional vows or modify them slightly.
If you’re feeling pressure to write something poetic, remember: the best vows are sincere, not scripted.
Pro Tip: Consider writing private vows to each other and reading traditional ones during the ceremony if you're nervous about speaking in front of guests.
How long should wedding vows be?
Keep your vows between 1–2 minutes per person. That’s about 150–250 words. Short, sincere, and from the heart goes a long way, especially when emotions are running high.
What should I include in my wedding vows?
Here’s a simple structure to follow:
Personal story or moment that reflects your love
What you love about your partner
Promises you want to make (serious and/or playful)
A heartfelt closing line that brings it all together
Popular phrases include:
“I promise to always…”
“From this day forward…”
“In laughter and in tears…”
Need help getting started? Some couples Google “wedding vow templates” or “wedding vow examples from real weddings” to spark ideas.
Should we include religious or cultural elements?
Absolutely, if it’s meaningful to you. Many couples incorporate spiritual references, readings from sacred texts, or family traditions. This can be a powerful way to honor your roots while still making the vows feel personal.
What if I cry or get too emotional?
It’s totally normal and beautiful! Keep tissues nearby, take deep breaths, and speak slowly. If you're concerned, write your vows on notecards instead of reading from a phone. It keeps the moment more grounded and less tech-driven.
Are traditional wedding vows still used?
Yes, many couples still use traditional wedding vows, especially in religious or formal ceremonies. Here are a few examples:
Christian:
“I, [Name], take you, [Name], to be my lawfully wedded [husband/wife], to have and to hold from this day forward…”
Non-denominational:
“I promise to love you, honor you, and stand beside you through all of life’s moments…”
Civil ceremonies often allow more flexibility and personalization.
What are some tips for writing memorable wedding vows?
Write them early. Don’t wait until the night before!
Read them out loud. Practice helps with flow and timing.
Keep it authentic. You don’t need to be poetic, just be real.
Avoid inside jokes unless they’re short and understandable to guests.
Make a few promises that reflect your values as a couple.
Can we keep our vows private?
Absolutely. Some couples exchange private vows during a first look, or even write letters to each other to read the morning of the wedding. You can also include more general vows in the ceremony and save your most intimate words for just the two of you.
Real Bride Insight: What Vows Feel Like
One bride told us
“When I read my vows out loud, I stopped caring about everything else, my hair, the photos, the guests. It was just me, him, and the moment we’d waited for.”
That’s the magic of wedding vows: they stop time and let you speak directly from your heart.
Final Thoughts: Your Vows, Your Voice
There’s no single “right” way to write wedding vows. Whether you say something light and playful or deep and emotional, your vows should reflect your story, your style, and your vision for the future.
At J. Major’s Bridal Boutique, we believe that just like your wedding dress, your vows should feel uniquely you.
