Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Who to Invite, What to Include, and How to Set Boundaries Gracefully

Planning your wedding guest list is one of the most meaningful and often most emotional parts of your journey. Whether you're trying to keep things intimate or dreaming of a grand celebration, the process brings up big questions: Who do I invite? Can I say no to extra guests? What do I need to include in the invitation?

✨ June 2025 Update: Updated Etiquette Tips

We’ve helped hundreds of brides through this stage here at J. Major’s Bridal Boutique in Charlotte, and we’re here to make it feel a little more joyful and a lot less stressful. Below, we answer your most common wedding invitation etiquette questions.

J. Major's Bride Brittain on her wedding day

Who Should I Invite to My Wedding?

Start with your must-haves: close family, lifelong friends, and anyone who feels essential to your story. Then, build out from there considering your budget, venue capacity, and the vibe you want (intimate vs. large-scale).

Ask yourself:

• Have I spoken to this person in the past year?

• Would I be upset if they didn’t attend?

• Do they know my fiancé/fiancée?

There’s no rule that says you have to invite every extended family member or childhood friend. Think about who you’ll be happy to see in the crowd on your big day.

“We’ve had brides ask whether to invite coworkers my advice: include those you see regularly at work, but always be clear on plus‑one policies,” says Brooklyn, J. Major’s stylist.

How Do I Handle Plus-Ones and Kids at My Wedding?

This is your day, and you set the rules, lovingly, of course!

Plus-Ones

• For guests in long-term relationships or those traveling from far away, offering a plus-one is thoughtful.

• For others, it’s perfectly okay to invite them solo. Just be clear on the invitation and RSVP card.

Kids

• If you’re going child-free, say so gently with a line like:

  “We love your little ones, but this celebration is adults-only.”

• If you’re inviting select kids (like nieces, nephews, or immediate family), you can note that clearly on the RSVP card or envelope.

  
  

When Should I Send Out Wedding Invitations?

• Save the Dates: 6–8 months before your wedding

• Formal Invitations: 8–12 weeks before the big day

If you're having a destination wedding or expecting lots of out-of-town guests, give a bit more notice (up to 4 months).

What Should Be Included in a Wedding Invitation?

Your wedding invitation should include the essentials:

• The couple’s full names

• The date and time of the ceremony

• The venue name and address

• Dress code (optional, but helpful)

• RSVP instructions (with a due date)

• Wedding website (if you have one)

For modern weddings, it’s perfectly acceptable to direct guests to your website for additional details like hotel blocks, registry info, and the weekend timeline.

How Do I Politely Decline Guests Who Want to Bring Extra People?

This can be tricky but you’re allowed to say no.

If someone asks to bring a guest who wasn’t invited:

• Thank them for their excitement, and respond kindly but firmly.

  “We’re so honored you’ll be there! To keep things intimate, we’re only able to accommodate the names listed on the invitation thank you so much for understanding!”

If needed, blame the venue size or budget both are perfectly valid reasons.

Final Thoughts

Creating your guest list and managing invitations doesn’t have to be stressful. With clear boundaries and warm communication, you can shape the day you truly want — surrounded by the people who mean the most to you.

At J. Major’s Bridal Boutique, we believe every part of wedding planning should feel joyful, from saying yes to your dress to sending out those dreamy invitations. 💌 Need help finding a gown that feels just right for your moment? We’re here to help, book your appointment here.